-My Ruin Life-

okay this is too awkward starting like this but...now IDK why I'm listening to JB(not Jonas Brothers but Justin Bieber) and when the first time I saw him I just making jokes but the days after that, my feeling changes from hate become LOVE!!! it's very awkward to me. Well, it's all because I borrow my brothers laptop that I can't stand with so I played often these days and I know there's a lot of so much that actually I have to do but okay, I know this is ruin but....IDK it's just that I need 1 week of freedom I can reach, I can fly, I can be free, who I want to be, where I'm supposed to be. And now I'm thinking, could my dream happen after I'm going to the hardest time of my life that I want to get rip of it. Just 1 day that Joe or Arya or Justin could love me the way I love them. And how much I want that is the more darkness coming around me. The more I'm dreaming, the more I want, the more that ruin, darkness, weakness, coming over me. And I'm becoming teengers that I thought that is the hardest time you will going through of your life. Cuz what you become in the future depends on what you do on now. And sometimes I think, it's me that have my life, so ANYBODY CAN'T CONTROL IT!!! me, myself who supposed to control it not anyobody. And parents who always giving comments to us, I know they tried to make us to be a good person but all the while, we just need time to hold on that moment to give us break. Just now, I made through of my life for 7 years going through hell,and I MEAN IT!!! I really hate when P****!!! and that is P-I-A-N-O!!! it brings me bad luck and just because I can't do that, there's must be another thing I can do like, guitar, math, making poetries, poems, writing songs, IS THAT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU??? ALL YOU JUST WANT IS MORE AND MORE AND MORE!!! but we can't give anything you want just as much we can't do. and you cant't push to do what you say cuz it's our life not yours! In other side, you trade me and others well, but, how much we say "yes" to do all the things you say? I know my time now wasted on my brothers' laptop but it's how I impress myself! Could it be more obvious??? Music is my life, and nobody can't stand on that way! But you stand it that way, I can't move on my life. is that what you want? or you want to see me miserable? I thought and all I want is be the Cyrus Family(RC=RoxyCyrus) and so, theoretically is I want to reborn again BY CYRUS FAMILY!!! how could a child think bout that??? well , i do!!! and second is, JOE JONAS LOVE ME AS MUCH AS I LOVE HIM AND IT WOULD BE BETTER IF HE LOVES ME MORE!!! it's the most best prize i've could imagine! GOD, ALL OF MY HARDWORK PLEASE HELP ME TO MAKE MY DREAMS COME TRUE AMIEN...!!!!:D love y'all and if there's outhere had a wish like me TELL ME ASAP!!! bye love y'all!!!:D